Pride (in the name of love)

Maria A. Montalvo, Freelance Writer

The word “pride” was deliberately chosen to represent the movement in the 1970s because until then (and long after), being gay was stigmatized by shame. People outside of the LGBTQ+ community expected those within the community to hide who they were and show shame for it.”

'They could not take your pride In the name of love” – U2

I remember the first time I heard the song “Pride (In the Name of Love)” by U2 : “They could not take your pride in the name of love, what more in the name of love?” Hearing the word “pride” with “love” felt different from the sentiments I had associated with love.

But then, of course, I was only starting to realize just how strong we sometimes need to be when our fellow humans decide they get to judge who gets to be happy and who has to hide. Bono was disenchanted by the pervasive violence and repression of the 1980s. He wrote the song to remind us that we lead by being proud of the values of love and a commitment to justice.

Perhaps Bono took a cue from the then-recently named gay rights movement. The word “pride” was deliberately chosen to represent the movement in the 1970s because until then (and long after), being gay was stigmatized by shame. People outside of the LGBTQ+ community expected those within the community to hide who they were and show shame for it.

Shame … for who you love. Not shame for cruelty or aggression, not shame for blatant greed or exploitation, not shame for manipulation or withholding justice for all.  

“Pride” was and is the perfect word for the recognition that everyone deserves to be proud in love. I know not a day goes by that I am not proud of my husband and the person that he is. I am proud to be his wife. I am proud to wear the wedding ring he gave me. I am proud to walk down the street holding his hand or hugging him in public. We celebrate our love and the love of our friends and family.

I am equally proud that the U.S. FINALLY allows so many who are dear to me to have pride in their relationships, too. The Supreme Court ruled it illegal to criminalize same-sex relationships only 23 years ago, and same-sex marriage became legal 11 years ago. (Of course, the Supreme Court has been changing its mind quite a bit these days.) Before 2015, not all of our friends and neighbors could even say their marriage vows to each other.

So, when people say, I have no problem with LGBTQ+ people, why do we have to be so open about it? Why celebrate it with PRIDE?

In our 250th year, every proud American – regardless of who we are, what we look like, and who we love – must be confident we would have the same opportunities, same freedoms and liberties, and the same treatment and consideration by society in order to claim there is anything exceptional about our country.

Any small gesture, from a Pride sticker on a water bottle to participating in a Pride event to learn how members of our community experience their day-to-day lives, demonstrates that you believe all of us deserve to have our humanity and dignity recognized, and that you support the values this country attempts to live up to.

The Declaration of Independence says that all Americans are entitled to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” We know that members of the LGBTQ+ community are far more likely to die or be victims of violence (five times higher rates of violent crime).

The definition of liberty is straightforward enough: the state of being free from restrictions on one's way of life, behavior, or views. And what about the pursuit of happiness? My pursuit of happiness includes being proud to be with the love of my life.

The song asks, “What more in the name of love?” What more can each of us do – as our conscience, our spirituality, or our humanity dictates – to guarantee those inalienable rights for all? As we witness basic rights being taken away or threatened, now is not the time to stay silent about pride in the name of love.