Did you notice how quickly Buzz Lightyear, Woody, Jessie and the Gang ran Robin Hood out of town?  Robin and his Merry Men lasted only about three sacks of popcorn before they were replaced at the Edmonds Theater by Toy Story 3.

One reason is that Russell Crowe never quite measured up to Errol Flynn.  And Edmonds residents can tell you why.  

Did you ever see the Sheriff of Nottingham pop Errol Flynn in the nose, and get away with it?

Nope, Russell Crowe doesn't measure up, even though he had previously convinced some moviegoers that he was "The Gladiator."

The truth was revealed when the Gaelic Storm musical group performed last year at the Edmonds Center for the Arts.

One of the singers and musicians in the group had for a time tended bar in California and recalled for the audience the time Russell Crowe walked in with a couple of his bodyguards.  The ex-barkeep recalled that event in a song that went like this: 

Here's a little story about someone that you know

He was a right famous fella by the name of Russell Crowe

I was working at the pub and he was smokin' at the bar

And that's a crime we know in Cal-i-fornia.

So I sidled up the rail right to where he stood

Said, "Sorry Mr. Crowe' as nicely as I could 

"You'll have to put that out, throw it on the floor

If you don't I'll kick you out and show you to the door"

He squared right up to me, somewhat in surprise

Then he narrowed his gaze, shot me daggers with his eyes

"If you think you're man enough go ahead," he said

I was scared for me life, so I dawked him in the head

CHORUS

The closest I've come to ending up dead

Was the night I punched Russell Crowe

"The Gladiator" in the head

He lifted up his hands, put them to his nose

Blood was running through his fingers, dripping on his clothes

His bodyguards ran up. "Get him!" shouted Crowe

Run," cried Chucky, "Don't stop ‘til you get to Mexico."

   Russell Crowe has no secrets in Edmonds.  As a matter of fact, "Songs About Real People" is one of 84,000 sites on the Internet recounting this one-punch fight.