Beach bongs to balance burdensome budget
Published on Thu, Jun 10, 2010 by John OwenRead More Owen at Large
Edmonds' merchants are always looking for new customers. But they won't find any in the back booths at Skippers.
We might find some south of the county line, in the kingdom now ruled by Mike McGinn.
The first-term mayor of Seattle is eager to please, but perhaps in a way he had not intended when he asked his constituents to make out a civic wish list.
"What does our city need most?" residents were asked on the website "ideasforseattle.org." Early returns reported on KOMO News favored more and better light rail, legalized marijuana and nude beaches.
I don't know whether hizzoner intends to fulfill those wishes. But if he won't, we should.
We already have frequent and efficient light rail. And guess where Sounder trains come to rest? Right next to the beach and the
vacant Skippers property.
It won't remain vacant for long if we have any bold civic thinkers in Edmonds.
Why hasn't anybody on the City Council suggested the obvious?
Skippers should be converted into the Northwest's premier hemp-friendly nude beach. And we should allow each registered Seattle voter one free train pass to Sin City on the Sound.
Swim suits optional.
The idea screams for acceptance. And we won't even have to rename the park beach. "Skippers" paints the perfect image of potheads cavorting au natural in the waves.
And how will our merchants benefit from these shenanigans? Have you ever cavorted in the waves off Bracketts Landing, without a wet suit?
Within two hours all the running suits will have been swept off the racks at the Running In Motion store.
The hot turkey soup at Claire's and the tomato bisque at Chanterelle's will be similarly depleted.
I may set up a concession stand, selling Washington State football jerseys, which I bought at a distress sale for 75 cents apiece.
The potheads will clean the shelves bare at Namas Candy Store.
The tax we implement on marijuana will wipe out the city deficit and launch an era of civic improvement.
We're all going to be rich, rich, rich!
Gary Haakenson obviously did not anticipate this economic gold mine when he announced last week that he is resigning as mayor to work for county exec Aaron Reardon.
But both will be welcomed with open arms during our first annual "Skippers Skinny-Dipping Bong Bonanza."
Be there or be square.
We might find some south of the county line, in the kingdom now ruled by Mike McGinn.
The first-term mayor of Seattle is eager to please, but perhaps in a way he had not intended when he asked his constituents to make out a civic wish list.
"What does our city need most?" residents were asked on the website "ideasforseattle.org." Early returns reported on KOMO News favored more and better light rail, legalized marijuana and nude beaches.
I don't know whether hizzoner intends to fulfill those wishes. But if he won't, we should.
We already have frequent and efficient light rail. And guess where Sounder trains come to rest? Right next to the beach and the
vacant Skippers property.
It won't remain vacant for long if we have any bold civic thinkers in Edmonds.
Why hasn't anybody on the City Council suggested the obvious?
Skippers should be converted into the Northwest's premier hemp-friendly nude beach. And we should allow each registered Seattle voter one free train pass to Sin City on the Sound.
Swim suits optional.
The idea screams for acceptance. And we won't even have to rename the park beach. "Skippers" paints the perfect image of potheads cavorting au natural in the waves.
And how will our merchants benefit from these shenanigans? Have you ever cavorted in the waves off Bracketts Landing, without a wet suit?
Within two hours all the running suits will have been swept off the racks at the Running In Motion store.
The hot turkey soup at Claire's and the tomato bisque at Chanterelle's will be similarly depleted.
I may set up a concession stand, selling Washington State football jerseys, which I bought at a distress sale for 75 cents apiece.
The potheads will clean the shelves bare at Namas Candy Store.
The tax we implement on marijuana will wipe out the city deficit and launch an era of civic improvement.
We're all going to be rich, rich, rich!
Gary Haakenson obviously did not anticipate this economic gold mine when he announced last week that he is resigning as mayor to work for county exec Aaron Reardon.
But both will be welcomed with open arms during our first annual "Skippers Skinny-Dipping Bong Bonanza."
Be there or be square.