I often quote old sayings my grandmother repeated, sayings I suppose her own grandmother repeated to her.  Sometimes I’ll quote something that causes someone else to say, “Oh, MY grandmother used to say that, too.”  Or—if the person is younger-- she might frown and ask, “What does THAT mean?”

I didn’t often need to ask my grandmother what her sayings meant. Either I instinctively knew, or I eventually got the point from the context, the tone of her voice, the curve of a smile or the downturn of a frown.  (However, my grandmother seldom frowned at any of her grandchildren.)

When I complained (as insecure schoolgirls do) about my hair, my outfit, my general appearance, as I checked the mirror in the hallway prior to leaving the house, I could count on my grandmother’s response.  “It’ll never be seen on a galloping horse,” she’d say, guiding me firmly away from the mirror and toward the door.

I did find that saying most odd. My family never had a galloping horse.  We had an old white workhorse named Molly when I was four years old, on the ranch in Yakima.  I have seen a picture of me perched on her broad back, both of us utterly still. 

In truth, I do not recall that nice old horse moving much at all.  If she did, she walked, slowly. She didn’t gallop.

As the years went by, though, I came to understand the saying—and to repeat it to my children. (I’m sure I’ll repeat it to my grandchildren Annika and Adam, too.) “It’ll never be seen on a galloping horse,” means to keep moving, stay focused, not be preoccupied with what others think and certainly not to act self-important—and no one will notice your imperfections, real or imagined.

“Pretty is as pretty does” was another favorite saying of my grandmother’s.  Vanity was not on the list of traits she encouraged.  She taught her family that true beauty lies within and is shown by care and compassion.

“Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious if it kills you.”  Someone named Elsie de Wolfe said that; I think my grandmother would have agreed. 

She really had nothing against prettiness, as long as one didn’t take it seriously.  Being witty?  That encompassed smart and funny, both of which she valued. But being gracious? That one was supremely important.  It meant being considerate and generous, never mean or crude.  No matter what others might say or do, she expected her family to be gracious.

My grandmother lived by her faith and consistently showed respect for every person. She encouraged her grandchildren to look outside of themselves, rather than selfishly inward.

I miss my grandmother and think of her frequently. If she were here today, she would be a wise and loving influence on her great-grandchildren.