How are computers and spouses similar?  Let me count the ways.  But, before I get into that, I need to find an answer for the age-old question: If more than one mouse are mice, then why aren't more than one spouse "spice"?  It occurs to me that the English language is a veritable mountain of inconsistencies.  

But, I digress.  Back to the subject at hand.  As spouses get older sometimes their memories are no longer up to par. 

They're often not as strong as they used to be and if one of the two spice achieves "celebrity" the spouse with which they grew old is too often cast off in favor of a newer, more compact model. 

We see it all the time with the "Hollyweird" crowd and our various elected "representatives" to federal offices.  The aging celeb begins sporting a spouse less than half his or her age and with more very-apparent bells and whistles than the recently discarded mate. 

A similar thing happens to computers.  My trusty, five-year-old computer (that's 95 in computer years) was getting slower and slower and was having memory problems.  But, being in true love with the old companion I couldn't trade it in so I decided to get it in shape.  Kinda like my body needs to get in shape. 

So, I took it to my highly talented computer tech with whom I began to do business three or four years ago when I caught my original tech of many years "sknobbling" me.  He didn't cheat me out of much... just enough to catch my attention.  When I called him on the matter he went into a lengthy dissertation proclaiming his innocence.  Not once during that exchange did he look me in the eye... he was busy counting the tiles on the ceiling and admiring the pattern of the wallpaper while extolling his professionalism.  

The end result is that I haven't been back since and it was my good fortune to come upon Mark, owner-operator-janitor and tech for A2Z Technologies located just south of Main Street on 4th South in Edmonds.  His shop is just across the street from the famous Hobby Shop that has existed in the same small building for lo these many decades. 

It is my opinion that Mark is as close to a computer genius as one is likely to find within driving distance.  He ain't cheap but he's (back to my Andy Griffith imitation) goo-ood!  Though not "cheap," his charges, to my mind, are extremely reasonable. 

By the time we got through, the only thing remaining of the original computer was the metal case in which it came.  Bear in mind, Mark doesn't oversell - the changes are what I insisted upon. I ended up with a new "mother board;" maybe a brother-in-law board, I don't recall; some CPUs (whatever they are) and enough memory gigs (what's a "gig?"  A cross between a goose and a pig?) to last me 12 years in addition to some more gigs of power that they call "ram".  Danged animals keep getting' into the act which is a handy segue into my final comment. 

As we used to say on the farm, I'm in hog heaven with my constant companion's new abilities.