THE CONSTANT CURMUDGEON

By John Pierre

For the Beacon

Tweet, tweet? Twitter? My Space? FaceBook? What in the world is going on?

I'm just getting used to the fact that there really is such a thing as a "Blue Tooth" and the next thing I know somebody comes up with a "Blackberry" and it's not for making pies or jam.

People are going around "text messaging" up a storm as if life functions are reliant upon the activity second in importance only to breathing.

I fail to see what's being accomplished other than more than the usual number of traffic accidents and the destruction of our grammar and spelling capability as we know it.

I would point out also that our ability with the English language is rapidly going down the tube. Sample message? "how u i in b tub." Upper and lower case have disappeared along with sentence structure, grammar, punctuation and spelling.

Privacy, for those who leave these messages for the world to read, has also become a thing of the past.

I must be old-fashioned. While I use email fairly extensively (I don't even know what a three-cent stamp costs these daysI can imagine that it's in the neighborhood of a buck and a half or will be shortly) but I haven't gone modern enough to carry around a tiny device used for thumb exercise or to report my daily bodily functions.

I'm tempted to use the old clich "What'll they think of next," but I won't. I hesitate to try to imagine what "they" will think of next but I guarantee that whatever it is, it'll sell for $299.95 (at least for the first few weeks) and will be an instant success with the younger generation, especially the ones whose parents can afford the expensive frivolity.

No, I'm not advocating that we go back to the horse-and-buggy days and I DO love my computer. It makes my creative juices flow. But that's as far as I'm willing to goat least for the time being.

I refuse to tweet anyone's twitter and that's final!