CITY LIGHTS

By Al Hooper

Kids are cute. Too bad theyre doomed to a life of mediocrity. A new study reveals that for the first time in a century childrens IQ scores are dropping.

The culprit? It would be nice to blame the TV pundits, who epitomize all thats mediocre in the culture, but the study commissioned by Lloyds of London pins the tail on a different donkey.

Namely, computer games.

The increasing use of computer games produces neurological changes with their constant and primitive fight-or-flight responses, says American researcher Jane Healy, who contributed to the study. She adds glumly, Marked changes!

Why is that bad? Well, it works like this. Over time the computer-game junkies experience a sharp jump in blood pressure and anxiety levels, which results in a corresponding loss of brain cells.

In the vernacular, dumbness sets in.

But dont overreact, Myrtle. It doesnt appear contagious. In any case Edmonds got there first when it comes to brain-cell annihilation.

You want to see the evidence? Thought youd never ask.

EXHIBIT A: the Sign Thugs.

Even as we speak, certain alleged adults are loping about stealing and trashing election signs. Why would anyone over the mental age of six consider this time well spent? Its a rhetorical question.

In every election you hear it said, Sign vandalism is worse this year than ever before. And its true. This year is bad, and next year will be badder.

Sometimes the perps brazenly act out in front of witnesses, like the man in a red car who dedicated his entire week to stealing Strom Peterson-for-City Council signs.

Maria Montalvo, the candidates part-time adviser and full-time wife, says: On one occasion a jogger tried to stop the man from pulling signs legally placed in public rights of way. The man ignored him, threw two signs in his car and drove off.

Similar reports arrive daily from the base camps of nearly all the council candidates.

Which means the targeted candidate or a supporter must run out and replace the stolen signs. Total elapsed time: two days. And who benefits from all this activity? Nobody.

Where are those IQ testers when you need them?

EXHIBIT B: Lyndon LaRouche.

No, this goofy economist and chronic candidate for president of the United States doesnt live in Edmonds. But on a recent day a few of his acolytes presumed to clutter a downtown street corner with tracts that included posters of President Obama with a Hitler mustache.

People took offense. A confrontation occurred.

The issue wasnt partisanship. It was ignorance.

Too many Americans died defending the world against Nazi domination for most of us to take lightly the mindless mewling of girlish zealots, of both sexes.

Of course the LaRouche types wouldnt know about such things. Learning history takes time.

And time as our survey results show is something the True Believers do not have much of.

Just 10 years ago the average attention span in this country was 12 minutes. Today its five minutes. And falling.

You dont digest a lot of history in five-minute dollops. What you do instead is live by synopsis. Keep it brief, please. And no abstract references. No blah blah about airy subjects like the Declaration Of Independence or the Bill Of Rights or any of that fancy-pants stuff.

Better to spend your free time tearing up election signs or defacing photos of elected presidents

The study cited above also tells us that todays teenagers have HALF the vocabulary of their 1950s counterparts.

Translation: They have half the ability to think.

So let us all say this in unison: READ!

And kill your computer games.