CITY LIGHTS

By Al Hooper

Memo to Myrtle: Youre absolutely right to give up on the human race. Whats to admire? Were getting dumber by the week.

Let us examine the doleful returns.

Did you know only 39 percent of Americans believe in the theory of evolution? Thats 39 as in under half. What this tells you is that the dinosaurs gave up their turf too early. They should have hung around and had us human morsels for a late lunch. No more pollution or global warming.

In Florida (where else?) the head of a county health department was fired for saying doughnuts are bad for you. One of the county commissioners owns a doughnut shop. Nice call, commish. Never let honesty stand in the way of naked self-interest.

In Texas a woman spent 19 hours in an emergency room waiting for someone to treat her broken leg. She finally gave up and left. She was billed $162 because a nurse had checked her vital signs. The womans leg is still broken. And untreated. And shes short 162 clams in housekeeping money.

Of course things are much different here in Edmonds By The Sea, an enclave of enlightenment, where its easy to forget that so many of our compatriots are struggling to cope with misfiring synapses.

But no gloating, please. At least not yet.

Our rational selves are about to be tested.

Until the current City Council election runs its course, it would be premature to anoint Edmonds as the last bastion of civilized behavior.

Funny thing about elections, one city councilor told Yr Obedt Servt. You start out debating your opponent like adults, and then you find out hes a devious headcase. How would you react?

Henny Youngman described this condition in non-political terms when he said, The more I think of you the less I think of you.

The great comic also observed, Hes the only person I know who enters a room mouth first.

History reveals that the art of over-the-top insult is not new in politics. A century ago a political opponent described Theodore Roosevelt as an old maid with testosterone poisoning.

And just last week a Congressman said of a rival, If you give him an enema you could bury him in a matchbox.

Lets hope our local campaign aims a tad higher on the putdown scale. We expect our public officials to set a standard for reasoned discourse. Otherwise were not much better than the surly louts who shout insults during Town Hall meetings from the safety of the mob.

The late Eric Hofer, a longshoreman turned philosopher, once said: Rudeness is the weak mans imitation of strength.

Which tells you there are a lot of weaklings in the mix these days.

Heres a sobering thought: Maybe the world is NOT on track to become a better place. Maybe our best option is to lure back those dinosaurs and start over.

Wont be easy, though. It seems they didnt believe in us, either.

In which case we both might learn something.

Bring on the Stardust Follies!

What do Lois Rathvon and Easy Ed Aliverti have in common?

(1) Geography. Both are Edmonds residents. And (2) numbers. Neither Ms. Rathvon nor Easy Ed is a callow youth. Shes 84. Hes 76.

Anything else? Well, both are featured performers with the Fantastic Stardust Follies who take over the Tacoma Musical Playhouse on Saturday and Sunday, Sept. 19 and 20.

Most area residents are familiar with Ed Alivertis unique history. High school choir director in the Edmonds School District for generations. U.S. Wrestling Hall of Famer as a ring announcer. Music director and arranger for the Stardust Follies

Add cancer survivor to the list.

Three times in the last six years.

He is wrapping up his most recent chemo series for pancreatic cancer by making the hours count. While in treatment, Easy Ed works on musical arrangements for the Follies tube in arm, pen in hand, notebook propped on a hospital pillow

Believe this: He wont miss a single show.

Lois Rathvon has her own story, equally fascinating.

At 84 she is tied for the lead as the oldest American showgirl still working. Her only rival lives in San Francisco where, between sets, the lady is alleged to stick pins in a Lois Rathvon doll. Professional jealousy knows no limits.

One smitten reviewer breathes, Lois Rathvon is beautiful, glamorous and long legged with a perfect figure. Ballet, tap, jazz, vocals, comedy Lois does it all with dazzling flair.

Old age? Some other time. Far too much to do.

For tickets to this months shows call (253) 565-6867. All seats are reserved ($20). All performances are priceless.