CITY LIGHTS
By Al Hooper

Newspaper reporter walks into a City Council meeting. Sits down, nods at the mayor, takes out his notebook and awaits developments.

Its a short wait. Moments later an armed man storms into the council chamber and starts shooting.

Reporter goes down, wounded but not fatally. Police arrive and subdue the shooter. Ambulances pack off the bleeders.

Just another day at the office, right? Well, sure. If your newspaper is located in Baghdad or Islamabad.

Alas this little drama took place in St. Louis, USA. Happened last year. The reporters name is Todd Smith. Just one more casualty in the Truth Wars.

Here at your everlovin Beacon we can relate to such job-related perils. Edmonds City Council is the domain of our intrepid Pat Ratliff who, when asked what he might do if a council meeting erupted in REAL fireworks, answers promptly.

Find a table and pull it over me, he says. Hence his nom de plume: Play-It-Safe Pat Ratliff.

All seriousness aside, news reporters are expiring at a fearsome rate these days. When not being targeted by deranged snipers, theyre imprisoned or tortured by one or another of the tinpot despots that infest the planet.

But does anyone honor these gutsy souls who are out there representing us at such high cost?

Not many. Thats roughly speaking. Smoothed out a little, hardly anybody.

Certainly not politicians, who tend to resent it when reporters point out that even as the politicos are piously braying about family values, theyre bedding a married member of their staff or a mistress in Argentina no doubt to the inspirational strains of Onward and Upward.

As for the citizenry, many of them buy into the premise that those who report the news are meddling or muck raking. Never mind the sleaziness of the reported misdeeds. Kill the messenger!

Or at least malign him.
Maybe hell go away.

Newspapers themselves share the blame. If a local serviceman or police officer dies in the line of duty, the news reports are properly aggrieved and respectful. But if the same thing happens to a member of the press, youll need a seeing-eye dog to find the story tucked away among the hemorrhoid ads.

For supporting evidence, look no further than the aforementioned Todd Smith, the reporter who took one for the team at that St. Louis council meeting last year.

Last week his newspaper let him go.
Budget cutbacks. Cant be helped.

Anyway, the kid wasnt moving as nimbly as he used to. Bullet wounds have that effect sometimes.

On his way out the door, nobody pinned a Purple Heart to Todd Smiths lapel. Nobody gave him a testimonial for helping preserve our freedoms by maintaining the publics access to open government.

Man just disappeared. Here today, forgotten tomorrow.
MEMO TO PAT RATLIFF:
Play it safe, Pat. At future council meetings, keep that friendly table in sight at all times. And make sure youll fit under it.

Theres nothing lonelier than a newsmans funeral.

Help is at your fingertips

Prefer happy endings? Then try this:
The Good Guys won one the other day.

Edmonds police converged on a 238th Street address where a 16-year-old girl was hiding in a back room while three hoods prowled the house. Thanks to the ubiquitous cell phone, no one is alone anymore. The alert girl called 911.

Police arrived within minutes but the home invaders were gone. Armed with descriptions, the officers fanned out.
They nailed the perps a few blocks away, and held them for the girls ID. She also recognized her TV set in the back of their vehicle.

This incident is typical of many residential burglaries we investigate, says Edmonds police Sgt. Don Anderson. A suspect approaches the front door, knocks or rings the bell and if no one answers, they assume no one is home. They go to the back of the house and force entry through a door or window.

The suspects two men and a woman in their 20s were imports from Everett, Marysville and Mount Vernon. But their genus can be found under any rock. Bug collectors classify them under Lowlifes, No-Gooders & Apprentice Fiends.

In this case our officers got there quickly, Sgt. Anderson says, and tracked the suspects before they could break into other homes in the neighborhood.

The moral is: Heads up, Edmonds.
And keep that cell phone charged