CITY LIGHTS
By Al Hooper

Paranoia gets a bad rap. People assume that those afflicted with it endure miserable lives devoid of happy times like a family reunion or gorging on Rocky Road ice cream in the privacy of your own room.

No less a personage than actress Susan Sontag sets us straight. I envy paranoiacs, she says. They actually think people are paying attention to them.
Ah, the need to be noticed!

For people in public life, its a professional necessity. Any political candidate knows that if people are unaware of you, then you wont get far on election day. So they sweat a ton getting their message out and, too often, what comes back?

Stony silence.
If thats not grounds for paranoia, then youre probably part of the conspiracy.

Nor does life improve a lot once a candidate is elected. You walk through fire to get there, and wheres the respect?

A writer who interviewed Teddy Roosevelt in the White House described him this way: An old maid with testosterone poisoning. There went the old Roughriders carefully nurtured image.

In more recent times a congressional candidate told his rival, Your brain, sitting on the edge of a razor blade, would look like a BB pellet rolling down a four-lane highway.

To which his opponent replied, Im sorry but I dont know how to deal with you. Im not a proctologist.

Youll be relieved to know things havent quite reached this prickly stage in the run-up to the Edmonds City Council elections. Not yet. But whenever you have eight candidates vying for three seats, you have a tsunami in waiting.

Consider Michael Plunkett, a three-term council member seeking a fourth term. Filing deadline had barely passed before he dinged his opponent, Priya Cloutier, for failing to vote in prior local elections.

Where do her interests lie? asked Mr. Plunkett. Apparently not in the future of Edmonds!

Ms. Cloutier retorted, In our time in Edmonds my family has ingrained itself in the community. My husband Todd sits on the board of Sustainable Edmonds. Im on the board of the Edmonds Chamber of Commerce. Ive spent two years establishing the College Place Middle School Music Boosters. I coordinate the 4th of July Main Parade. I spent many hours raising money to save Yost Pool this spring.

She sums up, Its a shame that my opponent seeks to distract from the real issue Edmonds faces: economic sustainability.

Mr. Plunkett, however, is no stranger to shots across the bow. He ripostes, Ms. Cloutier offers a dozen excuses as to why she failed to vote in most all Edmonds elections. She forgot the best one: `The dog must of ate my ballots.

Sprightly banter, yes?
But heres the thing:
The Plunkett-Cloutier contest isnt even on the Aug. 18 primary ballot! As the only two contenders for Position 1, they wont face off until the Nov. 3 general election.

Which leaves an open track for two other races incumbent Strom Peterson vs. Diane Buckshnis and Al Rutledge (Position 2) and incumbent Ron Wambolt vs. former council member Lora Petso and Adrienne Fraley-Monillas (Position 3).

Wish them well. Theyll need it. Running for council in this town is no frolic.

There are plenty of local activists around who size you up inside 10 seconds and decide where you rate on their political compass. And theyre not averse to letting you know about it.

Therefore, at the risk of being presumptuous, Yr Obedt Servt offers this advice to the cluttered field:

1) Never complain about being misquoted. Just be glad you were quoted at all. If the offending journal spelled your name right, its money in the bank or votes at the polls.
2) Never complain that you were quoted out of context. Any conscious scrivener will reply, I sure hope so. The day we start quoting politicians in full is the day we bump the Classified section out of the paper for lack of space. And the Classifieds make money!
3) Enjoy the ride. Since eight into three wont go, five of you will be looking for a new hobby after Nov. 3. And whats so bad about that? You will have tried. Takes guts to try. Just by standing for election, youve performed a service to the community.

Which brings up the communitys obligation to you for rendering this service. Which is to say this:

Thank you, candidates. Sincerely.