CITY LIGHTS
By Al Hooper

You know the popular belief. Say anything you like about elected officials, just so you spell their name right. Seems people in public life arent like you and me. They have no feelings.

Most of us view criticism for what it is helpful in some cases, puerile in most cases. Hardly matters either way. We pay it no never mind because we have more important things to do, like polishing our nails or hanging out in bars.

Elected officials lack this luxury of indifference. False claims can seriously impact their career, if they plan to have one.

As the man says, A lie circles the world twice in the time it takes Truth to tie its shoes.

Which is why your everlovin Beacon has a policy of eliciting an immediate response from a public official targeted in letters to the editor.

We want to deal with the charges NOW!

The Brand X journals of this world are prone to print the letter and let the dubious claims fester for a week before the accused party can respond. Not your everlovin Beacon.

We call it our Instant Response strategy. And we also apply it to our own critics. OUR critics? Yes, Virginia, improbable as it sounds, even City Lights has them.

Why? Because we are here.
As are our everlovin critics.

DEAR CITY LIGHTS: Your suggestion that Edmonds City Council wasted its valuable time by ordering a ban on plastic bags in retail stores defines you for the ages.
Youre another of those conservative dinosaurs. FDR said, A conservative is someone with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk forward. Recognize yourself?
The upside is that your breed is losing brain cells so fast youll be joining the other fossils before much longer.
Bugged In Edmonds

(DEAR BUGGED: My conservative friends must be howling with mirth about now. They have me pegged as being to the right of Pal Joey Stalin by about THIS much. You are correct, however, in noting my mental decline. At the current rate of slippage, I fear my IQ will have dropped to the national norm in around 30 years. Chilling thought. Whats it like down there?)

DEAR CITY LIGHTS: So youre a sports expert now? If youre going to talk about Joe Namath and the injury that knocked him out of action for a season, at least get the year right!
It didnt happen the season AFTER he and the New York Jets won the Superbowl in 1969. It was three years after!
Makes this reader wonder. Can we believe anything we read in City Lights?
Jock Hound In Edmonds

(DEAR JOCK: I get that a lot. But you can take this to the bank: People who wallow in sports trivia invariably develop ingrown hair where they dont need it. There is only one known remedy. Behavioral scientists call it getting a life. Its a 10-step program. Better hurry and sign up before the itching starts.)

DEAR CITY LIGHTS: I never thought Id see a day at least not since 1960 when a grown woman was referred to as a girl as per your column mentioning my friend Rita Flynn. You wrote of her: You can take the girl out of Edmonds but you cant take Edmonds out of etc.
Really! Im sure weve only scratched the surface of your insensitivity. You probably have a stash of insulting labels to fit every occasion.
Do you also refer to the French as frogs and to Britons as limeys and to Germans as krauts?
Frothing In Edmonds

(DEAR FROTH: Sure. Doesnt everybody? Havent had any complaints. However, there is a difference between the examples you cite and my allusions to a chicks gender. Ive never met a girl I didnt like, whereas I have serious reservations about some of the specimens in those other categories. Like Chuck de Gaulle and George III and Heinie Himmler and you get the picture. But well save that thought for another column.)