My bright yellow truck versus Berneheim’s ‘Duckmobile’

 

 

            "I saw  you driving around town in  your  new, snazzy vehicle," a neighbor remarked recently.  "I waved at you but I didn't get a response so I guess you didn't see me."

       "What snazzy vehicle?" I responded.

        "I'm talking about your bright yellow pickup truck," he said.

       "Not me. Not mine," I corrected.

       "It's got your name on the back," he said.  "Emperor of Edmonds."

       A-ha, the mystery is solved.  There are two Emperors of Edmonds.  Or there are no Emperors of Edmonds.

       Granted, I wrote a couple of columns outlining what civic changes I would make if I were Emperor of Edmonds.

       But I've been elected to no office.  I pulled my name from consideration after pre-election polls indicated the voters of Edmonds didn't want me on a throne or in the mayor's office.  They preferred to see me on a one-way bus to Snoose Junction.

      So don't wave or toss rocks at bright yellow pickup trucks, assuming that I must be aboard.

      I'm trying to figure out who drives bright yellow pickup trucks.  Because political analysts have been claiming that they can usually tell a person's political preference, by the car he or she drives.

     Democrats, they decided, drive electric or hybrid cars.  Republicans, they add, are more inclined to sit behind the wheel of a humvee, and clench the steering wheel as though intent upon invading Mukilteo.

     Are these stereotypes accurate ones?

     I sometimes have trouble immediately spotting my Prius in the church parking lot because it seems like every third car is a hybrid.  But, by and large, they are free of political bumper stickers.  They favor messages like, "Celebrate Diversity" and you can't argue with that.  Well, maybe you can.  I have yet to see that slogan on a Humvee battering ram.

     My vote for Stephen Bernheim to the Edmonds City Council was influenced in part by the fact that he drove an electric vehicle about the size, shape and color of a Giant Yellow Duckie.

     But I  only occasionally see Bernheim's Duckmobile since he was elected. Do you suppose he  drives a block long gas guzzler now that he is feeding at the public trough? Tell me it's not so.

    There I go, stereotyping drivers just like those political analysts.

    All I know for sure is that if you park your car and walk to all your errands in Edmonds, you'll be healthier and a tad wealthier than your friends and neighbors who travel everywhere in a Smart Car,  an armored personnel carrier or a snazzy pickup truck with "Emperor of Edmonds" painted on the rear.

    And I think I have solved the mystery surrounding Stephen Bernheim's yellow duckie.  My guess is that it develops power by eating grass.  It isn't missing from its usual parking slot.  It just spends an occasional morning grazing on the south 40.